by Alyson Komyanek

There are many phases in life. There’s the terrible twos, the pimple stage, the partying phase and the chapter in which I’m currently stuck…the wedding phase. I’ve spent the better part of my twenties attending ceremony after ceremony. In fact, in the last 2 years I have watched over 15 of my closest friends and family members become husband and wife. I’ve stayed in hotels, flown on planes, smiled for hundreds of photos and spent somewhere close to $2,000 in the process. That’s not to say it was all for nothing, because I have learned some rather valuable lessons in the process. Things I probably wouldn’t have learned otherwise.

 funny wedding-photo

Here are 10 I’m willing to share with you:

1. Gift bags should come in every hotel room– When I arrive to a hotel with a goodie bag, it’s an instant mood changer. Ones that contain water bottles and Advil for the after wedding hangover make me especially happy.

2. Photo booths are fun– I remember the days when you’d have to pay to use the photo booth at the mall. Now, they’re practically a staple at weddings. Nothing’s changed either. Everyone still fits as many others as they can into the booth and makes kissy faces.

3. 9 months later a baby will be born — It could be the best man’s wife or the flower girl’s parents , but somewhere, somehow exactly 9 months later, two wedding guests will be making room for baby.

4. Little kids can really ruin the day–Weddings are for adults. Babies crying during the ceremony is tacky and everyone will worry about stepping on a kid if they’re on the dance floor at the reception. Plus no one wants to worry about having to watch “their language” and they will if kids are around. However, little boys do look ADORABLE in tuxes.

5. Bridesmaids dresses will never be “worn again”– Whether it’s short and sassy or long and elegant, it’s only going to be worn for that one day. No one ever finds an occasion to wear it again. We like to pick out our own dresses.

6. There is no such thing as a bad appetizer—Most couples worry about whether or not their guests like the entrée, but honestly, I’m usually too full from the appetizers to enjoy the meal. I’ve never tasted a bacon wrapped scallop or stuffed mushroom I didn’t like. Weddings with a mashed potato bar, get extra points.

7. Nobody really knows how to do the Electric Slide, Cotton Eye Joe or Cupid Shuffle, — but everybody knows how to do the Chicken Dance and the Macarena.

8. Shuttle busses smell– It’s the end of the night and all those stinky, sweaty people from the dance floor are now crammed on one big bus and heading back to the hotel. It’s guaranteed to smell like a middle school boy’s locker room.

9. Outside weddings need a plan “B” — Nothing ruins a wedding more than freezing rain or scorching heat. Outside ceremonies are only beautiful if the weather follows suit.

10. Every couple thinks their day is “perfect” – As a guest, you probably won’t agree. You’ll think the center pieces were too big or the best man’s speech was too long, but for them, it’s absolutely perfect and you should tell them it was.